Too Broken To Fall Again

There are things I certainly cannot understand why I need to go through them. There are things I scarcely fathom why I should be facing them. I may not be perfect but I know I am not that bad to deserve such a karma.

And just like any other girl whose only wish is to marry her prince, the question of “why me, Lord?” ensued. Again. How many years now? 5? 5 years of being in love with the right guy. Or so I thought. Again. 5 years of dreaming together, planning ahead, and worst, 5 years of preparing myself to be away from someone so dear to me just so I can be with him.

And to no avail, everything has just come to an end. 5 years is over. I hope they are happy now – them who never believed in our love. Maybe they were right. There wasn’t really anything believable with what he had.

Until he himself do not believe in our love as well. He didn’t believe with what we have, with what I HAVE and worst of all, he couldn’t believe me ANYMORE.

It’s hard to hold on to something when you know you’re the only one holding on. It’s hard to let go when you feel you still love each other. It’s harder though to accept rejection when you know you could have done so much more to save your relationship.

But after everything is said and done, after everything has passed – the hurt, the bitterness, the apologies, the forgiveness – comes acceptance. I hope I can finally say one day that yes, this is my fate because I chose this. No more regrets, no more self blames, no more tears, just moving on and moving forward.

“Promises turned into dust, written in waters, carved in the wind, made to be broken, now I’m too broken to fall again.”