My Heart has been Broken

Time passes by and it ONLY passes by. I was stuck. I was stuck by the thought that he is the one.  I never thought in any way that he is going to be my ex. No, that he is NOW my ex.

You see? Time passes by too quickly that he, being my ex now, has not sunk it yet until now. My life simply passes by and I don’t even realize it.

All I know is that my life has been shattered. My soul has been ripped. My heart has been broken. And the more that I want to take myself out from this situation, the more I find myself deep in the woods, lost, confused, with no sense of direction.

And each time that I make a move, it’s as if everything that I touch just simply falls apart. And so I stopped. I simply just stopped.

I can say that life has been good to me. I have family and friends who support me in everything that I want to do with my life. I have this passion for writing that is sustaining me with my financial needs. But when it comes to relationships? I am not really sure how to pick up all the pieces back together and just move on with my life.

My Heart has been Broken

Why can’t I feel that when my heart has been broken, all I have to do is learn from my mistakes, let time heal me and everything falls into place? I just can’t feel that. Each heartbreak devastates me stronger than the previous one. It breaks me so much that right now, I can no longer feel I will be able to love again. I just can’t see myself falling in love again. I can’t imagine myself entering into a relationship, starting anew.

Yes I fear rejection. I fear being left again. I fear the thought of starting something with someone only to be left behind because they lost all hope. This is because my heart has been broken.

I just really hope that one day, I will be able to say that I am stronger because my heart has been broken. I am able to love deeper because my heart has been broken. I am wiser because my heart has been broken. Until then, I only let myself  heal and I will do whatever it takes. I hope it’s really getting there.