Broken Heart Thoughts

He needs to let go of me. He deserves to be happy. He is better off without me. I know all these. These are broken heart thoughts.

It just hurts so much to let it sink through me that I can never to be the one who will make him happy. It saddens me to know that I am not the one he is looking for in a partner. I know that he will be happy with any girl other than me.

What pains me is the fact that despite all this, I still wanted to care for him, to understand him, to love him all the more, to be there for him, to just hold on.

More than anything, it’s the guilt that is killing me right now. Yes, he was the one who left me but I was the one feeling this kind of guilt like I am the bad one. Guilt of broken promises and false hopes, of not setting him as my number 1 priority, of letting him wait for nothing, of wasting his time.

Broken Heart Thoughts

There were a lot of things I wasn’t able to do as often as I would like to because he is far away from me. But I don’t blame the long distance at all. I blame myself for not choosing him over my brother. I blame myself for being too coward to not take the risk of getting out of my comfort zone.

And now that it’s over, I blame myself for having chosen to love again. My heart has been broken for so many times now that I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to not fall in love again. But I chose to. And yes, I never felt so happy in my life that now, it is too painful to let go of him.

It really saddens me to know that I’m not the one who can make him happy when all I can think of is to be with him and be happy with him. And worst, being with him will never happen again. These are my broken heart thoughts.